When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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