What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Your face is hilarious.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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