what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Wanna hear a joke? no

how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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