Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

Grace Ackerson

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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