How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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the WNBA.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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