How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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