What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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