Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops