Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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well use a tissue!

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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