Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Indians

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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