A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

baloney sandwich

Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

Knock knock! Just kidding.

What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...