Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

Why did the fish fly It didn't

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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