your so fat. your fat!

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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were you expecting a joke

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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