Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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Take part of what?

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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