Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops