A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops