jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

what is big and white? Your Mom

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

Fat? Jesse Z

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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