What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What does? 42

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

You're welcome. On to the next house.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops