hi penis ham telephone

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Phew... it's gone.

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What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why? Why not?

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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