what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

your so fat. your fat!

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

hello

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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