Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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