Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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