Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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An anti-joke

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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