What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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What do you do when you do what the do is the do for the do to do what you're doing that's done for what she did if you didn't do what not to do? ^error

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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* anti-punchline

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops