Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops