Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

I'm homeless.

25

Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

No your aunties a joke

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

What's funny? Women's rights.

What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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