What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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42

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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