Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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