Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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No

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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