No soup for you!

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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