Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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