How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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