Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Communism hehe xd

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops