How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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