Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The duck didn't cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops