What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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Dwight Howard

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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