A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

What's 9 + 10 19

Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

White men's rights

Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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