A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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