Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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What is cowboy say

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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