Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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