Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Q

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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