Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man who is great at basketball? An all-star

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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