Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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42

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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A American, a Brit and a Mexican decided to bet on who could tell the funniest joke. The one that won told a great joke indeed.

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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