Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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