What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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ROSES ARE RED VILOIT ARE BLUE MY NAME IS MISIMOA AND I SMELL LIKE POO

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

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What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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Women can vote? wtf

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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