Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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Arrow in the Knee!

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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