What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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