What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Knock knock Come in

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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