Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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My spelling is horrible

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I'm homeless.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops