How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Weaner

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops