What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops