- Anti Joke

Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

A man walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. Being the only two people in this rundown watering hole, the bartender walks over slowly to the man and asks him in a depressed tone, "What would you like?" The man replies back with nervous hesitation, "Do... you mind if I have a rum and coke?" Staring off into the empty wall of the bar, the bartender sighs then says, "Eh... Why not. Your service is better than watching these reruns of MASH on this broken television. I can barely understand where all this laughter's coming from when the punchlines are covered up with static. I feel that if I could take in on how the joke was being told that it could potentially fill that void I experience in day-to-day life, but in the financial state that I'm currently in, that huge hole that I sense in daily life will never ever be filled. Every morning I wake up and try to find a way that I could escape this feeling that I have at the bottom of my stomach. You know there was a time where butterflies flew around in my gut because this television worked just so damn well, but it seems that over time the butterflies ate one too many greasy cheeseburgers and drank one too many beers." While still concentrating on the empty space of the wall, the bartender starts to tear up. he wipes the tear away then continues on with his rant. "But that isn't the only problem that I have going on with me. Every night in my vacant and almost unfurnished apartment, I would prepare myself a TV dinner in the microwave and set up my recliner so I could stare out of my window and see what's going on in my neighbor's living room. Every night I would do this and watch him have his loud and raunchy drug-induced orgies with women and animals. They would light up candles and chant right in front of the beautiful orange glow before stripping off their clothes. I know that it's a great misfortune that even I myself know what is wrong with this picture that I just described to you, and yet simultaneously, it hasn't really dawned on me yet that what I've been doing is extremely creepy and intrusive. Even walking upon this shaky and seemingly everlasting tightrope of ambivalence, I can see what's the right answer but loneliness has a strong effect on a person. Upon its very appearance, it corrupts the personal ethics of some beings. Many times I've seen quiet men turn themselves into loud and mad animals to make themselves look like alpha males. Many times I've seen celibate women strip off their clothes and show flesh all for a pervert. Sometimes I just stay here at the bar and watch TMZ. I've even sense the loneliness when I looked in some of the eyes of the celebrities'. Their acts scream loneliness as they stumble around drunk and mumble words in front of some overpriced bar. Perhaps I'm just going nuts here. It's almost like I'm having too much fun when I take in at what I've become. I've fallen into the shape of a lonely bartender of an empty, empty place. This establishment used to be so full of life but now it's all shrunken up. I apologize, sir. I know I probably told you too much information, but I'm drunk and I felt that this is the only opportunity that I'll have before i relive that feeling again. It just won't stop. It goes on and on." After staring deeply into his drink for sometime, the man digs into the inner pocket of his coat to pull out his pack of cigarettes. The bartender murmurs out to himself as he reads the cigarette box, "Lucky Strikes, unfiltered." As the man pulls out a cigarette for him and the bartender, he says, "cheer up, man. we'll make the best of it." The bartender takes one and lights up with the man in the bar. After a few drinks, the man decides that he's going to wrap it up and hit the town. As the man is leaving, he lays down a hundred dollar bill and tells the bartender to take it. The bartender smiles and says, "thanks for listening to me, sir. you've been great." The man turns around and smiles then says, "No problem. Thank you for staring into my apartment."

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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