Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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I am a mime

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops