The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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